Cultivating a Heart for Love

John 14:15-21 teaches that if you love God you will keep his commandments. We need to be careful about assuming that obedience equals love. The passage does not explicitly say that simple obedience is the same as love for God. The Pharisees were insanely legalistic about adherence to the law and keeping God’s commandments, yet it is obvious that they did not love God. How do we know this? Because when God showed up and said, “Howdy!” they executed Him on a wooden cross. We need to be very careful in understanding the relationship between love and obedience.

It is true that obedience is the result of a heart that loves God. If you love God you will keep His commandments. But obedience is not the same as love. So how do we cultivate a heart that loves God? Because if we can find out how to cultivate a genuine love for God then obedience will be easy. I am persuaded that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us instruction on how to begin cultivating our heart for a genuine experiencing and expressing of love both to God and our fellow man.

How to cultivate a Heart for Love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 teaches that there are a series of actions that you can do which will help to cultivate an emotional affection in your heart which is known as love. Let me be clear here. Doing the following does not equal love. To have love in your heart requires that your soul be healed and helped after years of spiritual malformation which is the result of a lifestyle of sin. Ultiumately, the following disciplines do not produce love in your heart. But by doing the following, Love can be cultivated and grown:

Step 1: Always be patient.

Step 2: Always be kind.

Step 3: Do not envy others.

Step 4: Do not brag about yourself.

Step 5: Do not think highly of yourself.

Step 6: Do not be rude.

Step 7:  Do not be self-willed. Do not insist that it’s “your way or the highway!”

Step 8: Don’t be easily offended. Don’t be offended at all!

Step 9: Don’t hold grudges against others for any reason. Be forgiving.

Step 10: Always be learning what is right and what is wrong.

Step 11: Do not be pleased or happy when someone does something that is wrong. Be extremely dissatisfied and express your dissatisfaction.

Step 12: Be happy at knowing and doing the truth! Seek contentment in Honor and Integrity.

Step 13: Bear difficult things. Carry them on your shoulders so others don’t have to. Be Noble in service to others. But the moment you think you are noble, return to step 4!

Step 14: Trust everything in the Bible, and believe in it! Be sound in your faith.

Step 15: Hope in the promises of the Bible. Have a confident expectation that they will come true!

Step 16: Trust in God’s sovereign control over every situation knowing that no matter what He allows you to go through, He is using it to refine your character for a greater purpose! Be glad in it, for this is the day that the Lord has made!

If you follow that outline as you interact with people and situations in life, you will find that you love those people and you are happy in those situations. Though certain individuals may annoy you and grate on you, you will find that at the end of the day something interesting happens in your heart. You will find God is slowly growing a heart-felt affection in your heart for those people. It’s surprising to behold.

So let’s return to John 14. Obedience to God is not the same as love for God. However, obedience to God will help cultivate a heart that loves God. Only God can change a person’s heart. However, God doesn’t force Himself on anyone. A person’s heart can only be changed when a person yields his heart to God and cooperatively steps out in basic obedience to God to allow God to reform his spiritual character.